Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Someone let the crazies out.

I'll say it again, I seriously need a new job...

Crazy: "Hey, you!"

Me: "Yeah?"... See More

Crazy: "You're a cute and sweet girl..."

Me: "Umm... ok?"

Crazy: "I wanted to letcha know that I'm going to make a statement for you and your generation.

Me: "And what's that?"

Crazy: "I'm going to jail."

Me: "Uhhh, OK... I'm sorry?"

Crazy: "I'm goin' to rob a bank so this joke of a government will take me to jail. I've already called them and told them I'm goin' to rob a bank and shoot me some idiot cops. They told me they won't take me to jail until I do try it, though. I sent them my picture. They said they'll send it to the banks to let them know to watch out for me."

Me: "Uhhh... Okaaaaay..."

Crazy: "I'm doin this for you and your freedom."

Me: "How exactly do you robbing a bank have anything to do with my freedom? That's ridiculous."

Crazy: "Cause I'm making a statement to the government that they're a joke. They already told me that I can't smoke in a bar. See, they took your freedom, too, by not allowin' us to smoke."

Me: "Actually, they're making sure that I live longer and stay healthier by taking out the smoking in a bar. I don't have to sit here and smell other people's smoking while I work. I'm glad they did that."

Crazy: "That's what they say because that's what they want you to believe. See... They've already brainwashed ya. I have to do this."

Me: "Umm... No, that's how I feel and that's what I believe. I'm a free thinker and I enjoy not breathing in smoke."

Crazy: "Well... They steal from ya by taxin' you on everything."

Me: "That's just a part of life. Something we've got to deal with."

Crazy: "Well, I'm done. I'm going to be put in jail so I can show them that I'm done with them trying to support me with social security and then steal from me. They won't be gettin' anything from me and I don't need them. That's why I must prove this by going to jail."

Me: "Actually, if you're in jail, they'll be supporting you and you'll have to do exactly what they tell you to. How does this prove yours or my freedom, exactly?

Crazy: raises voice, "I won't be doing nothin' they say. They can lock me up in confinement, because I won't do nothin'."

Me: "Well, I think that's just ridiculous. If you go to jail, you're giving up your freedom."

Crazy: "I'm giving up my freedom for you. You won't think it's ridiculous some day. You're too young to get it. When you're older, you'll get it, and you'll be grateful."

Me: "Riiiiight..."

Crazy: "Well, when you see my name in the paper for robbin', you'll know that I did this for your freedom."

Me: "...and that makes absolutely no sense."

Crazy: "Cause you're too young for it to make any sense. That's why I came in tonight, to see if I should do it here in the next few days, but I respect you and the owner (he talked to Danny, the owner, too) and I'll find somewhere else."

Me: speachless

Crazy: parting remarks, "Just remember it was for you and your generation. You'll wish you could thank me some day."

Me: "Riiiight. See you later." relief

Crazy: laugh "Only in the paper, and you'll remember me."